Patience has never been one of my strong suits. I wish it were because among the hard-won life lessons I have collected is the fact that the more impatient you are for something, the slower it is to arrive. Trust is not just a feel-good proposition, it also seems to be the most effective way of allowing the things into your life that you want. This is all rather unscientific of course and purely personal observation, but that’s the way it’s played out in my life.
And here is my point- sitting still is sometimes the best way to move forward. In my creative life this means literally sitting, for as long as it takes to get out of my own way and let the idea, or image or color or whatever has been trying to get to me, in. And even though I have learned this lesson what, a thousand times? I still have to re-learn it on a regular basis. What’s up with that, monkey mind?
I truly have no wisdom to impart here. I am just marveling at how easy it is to forget the simplest, most helpful bits of information.
I think I’ve been thinking about this in the context of weddings and ketubahs because I’ve been experiencing a bit of a shift in what I want to paint lately. This happens every few years- I either make a radical shift in my design career (i.e.: welding furniture) or my colors and lines change dramatically or something completely different happens. Over and over, though, I have found that there is absolutely nothing I can do to accelerate the shift or determine its direction. Like water, it finds its own level.
About a month ago, I sat down and painted. Usually I have some sort of a plan, a vision if you will. I find that while happy accidents always happen and I’ve always relied on them to take me to new places, I can’t start without something in mind. So just painting was weird and scary and exciting. And when I was done, I let it sit for another week or so before I could really look at it. Finally I finished it as a ketubah and printed it up. It’s already up as a new print and her it is below.
I love the piece because it’s open and fluid in a totally new way. When I think about marriage and how you have to open yourself up and trust a process, this piece feels even more connected to me. I have been married almost three years now and a parent for two and every day I am learning to trust and open in ways I never imagined.